I’ve been in a rut lately. I think we all have. I spent the 2020-2021 school year in survival mode. My school was in-person all year, with an online option. I taught anatomy online for one period and in-person chemistry the rest of the day. I had to make a lot of adjustments to accommodate for COVID protocols – 6ft between students (which was impossible), sanitizing desks during passing periods, “parking and barking” at the front of the classroom to minimize my personal exposure…
This might not sound like a lot, but I typically have students sit and work in small groups. I love hearing students discuss scientific concepts, helping one another understand what we’re studying. I also like having smaller conversations with my students. They tend to be willing to ask more questions in a small group setting than in a whole-class environment. This does mean I tend to repeat myself, but when it’s for small groups, I don’t tend to get upset.
Last year I would have to speak to the whole class much more. I never lecture for more than 15 minutes at a time, but I did more of it than ever, almost every day. I had to remove small group chats. As a lab-based class I wasn’t allowed to eliminate experiments, even though our administration would have preferred it. We couldn’t use open flame because of masks, but I was able to work around most of our COVID safety protocols to provide my students with lab experience.
This school year (2021-2022) has been similar, but our 6-feet distance has decreased to 3-feet. I still cannot group my desks, but small group work for short periods of time is allowed. While we are not encouraged to roam too much, I am able to chat with small groups a little every day. I do lecture more than I’d like, but I’ve found a groove. Despite these little changes, I’m still exhausted.
I’ve spent my winter break catching up on all the things I let go due to fatigue. I’m pretty proud of myself. I’ve cleaned my entire house. I received an old wingback chair (that’s been on my list for 7 years). I also painted all of the doors in my house gray.
I have wanted to paint the doors in my house since we toured the house in 2018. I thought dark doors would look great and really elevate the space. I had painted the doors in our first home black and loved them. I knew I wanted to paint these doors but I kept pushing it off. They weren’t a priority for me. I did so many other projects first. I painted our kitchen cabinets white (uppers) and gray (lowers) and replaced their hardware. I replaced all of the hinges and door knobs with mat black hardware. We’ve bought new artwork. We installed floor to ceiling bookshelves in our living room. None of these changes have felt as significant as painting these doors gray.
This house finally feels like it’s mine. Two coats of paint on eleven doors. That’s all it took. Why did I wait so long?
I didn’t know that I would feel this way about my home after simply painting the doors. This project was important to me, but it felt frivolous. I had so many other things to do that seemed more important. Like taking care of my toddler. Or surviving teaching at a new school. Or attempting to be a good wife while navigating my anxiety and depression. You know, life.
But these doors have got me thinking… What other things have been low on my priority list that really could make a huge impact on how I feel about my home, work, and relationships? I know for sure that I’m going to spend some time going through my home project list and really evaluate how each one could improve my relationship to my home.
But what about school? Before COVID I was really struggling with my place in education. I’ve been asking myself, for several years, how much long do I think I can manage staying in the classroom?
I know what I love about teaching. I love creating curriculum- the knitty gritty of it. I enjoy creating documents, developing frameworks, sharing resources- all of that.
I love developing relationships with students that aren’t solely based on their academic performance. Getting to know them as people and helping them navigate school and life.
I enjoy mentoring new teachers. I like helping them realize their potential and in turn help their students.
I do not enjoy the red-tape. All of the policies and rules that are supposed to be in place to keep our environment safe and equitable, but actually just hurt students.
In case you’re curious about what I mean, in my personal opinion:
- Cell phones are not a real menace. Teach kids the appropriate way to use them in the classroom. Detention for cell phone use does not teach students anything.
- Dress codes are not necessary. And they penalize female students disproportionately.
- Limiting trips to the bathroom does not teach students responsibility. Let them go. They will appreciate your trust and being treated like the young adults that they are.
Anyway, all that to say that, my gray doors have me reevaluating my daily routines at school. What are some small changes that I can make that will make a huge impact on my students, my colleagues, as well as my own feeling about my classroom?
Should I adjust my bell ringers? I used to do a “mindset monday” that would reset us for the week. I skipped this last year but I think it’ll really help me build relationships and set a positive tone in my classroom.
Will I be able to re-introduce more inquiry-based learning? I think so. I’ll start with shifting my labs back to Mondays and not worry so much about when my colleagues are doing their labs.
How can I hand the reins of my classroom back over to my students? I think incorporating my time for small groups discussion again will help my students to process new information and allow me time to have one-on-one chats that are more meaningful.
While these three small changes may not result in higher test scores I think they’ll help both me and my students feel better about our time spent together. And that really what I want. I want to feel good about what we’re doing and I want my students to leave my classroom knowing that even if they aren’t going to be chemists, they gained valuable communication skills.
What are your hopes for 2022?
